25 June 2015, No. 105, The Gap Band, ‘Shake’

Every time I see The Gap Band’s name, I think of a tune that is not the one we’re listening to today. I think of “Beep a Freak” and that insufferable beeping thanks to Chris Carlin, who used to play it in his sets a lot. There will be more Gap Band on this list (how could we not do “You Dropped a Bomb on Me?”), and in two more beats per minute (or about 30 more songs) we’ll have Luke the Knife’s edit of today’s tune. No. 105 is “Shake” from The Gap Band.

23 June 2015, No. 104, ESG, ‘Keep on Moving’

ESG at No. 104 with “Keep on Moving.” Advice I need to follow.

22 June 2015, No. 103, Eddie Bo, ‘Check Your Bucket’

Has your bucket got a hole in it? “Check Your Bucket” at No. 103 is another one from Eddie Bo with a bassline not quite as funky as some of his other tunes, but what it lacks in funk it makes up for in persistence. I don’t think it changes after the intro bits. Not like buckets, which, if we believe Mr. Bo and dears Liza and Henry, are particularly prone to puncture.

16 June 2015, No. 102, Dexter Wansel, ‘Funk Attack’

I’ve been listening to this song on repeat a lot. It’s funky, so much so that it seems like an attack. But not an assault. More like a spell coming on. The funk can make the unfunky faint if the funk attack is strong enough. At No. 102 Dexter Wansel’s “Funk Attack” will have you calling for a doctor in a smoking jacket with a Barcalounger and a big old dog.

8 June 2015, No. 101, Trouble Funk, ‘E Flat Boogie’

This record lives in boxes, so without digging deeply there or perhaps even more deeply on Discogs, I can’t tell you why I have an instrumental version of “E Flat Boogie” from Trouble Funk listed simply as “Flat Boogie” at No. 101, except it’s here because it shuffles along funkily enough. Check the ill synth bass blurps in the background toward the end. They’re in between the big ol’ horn stabs. Note that I am not the original poster of the featured video, and the turntable used to rip the song from vinyl has terrible speed control, the pressing hole is off center, the record is warped, or all three, as evidenced by the tremendous wow in the music. Sorry about that.

5 June 2015, No. 100, The JB’s, ‘Pass the Peas’

My name’s not Bobby Byrd, but soul food makes me almost as happy as does the music of the JB’s. I need to eat some greens and succotash soon. Got some fake barbecue ribs in the freezer. “Pass the Peas” like they used to say, coming in at an even No. 100 from the JB’s.

4 June 2015, No. 99, Heatwave, ‘Beat Your Booty’

I don’t agree with the parenting strategies this song advocates, but I don’t intend to parent anyone, so it doesn’t matter much what I think. Plus, if standup comedians are good indicators of cultural norms, answers to the question of whether or not parents should beat their children seem to divide along racial lines, and white people are all like, “Don’t do it,” so maybe that’s what’s at work here. At any rate (and at No. 99), Heatwave will “Beat Your Booty” if you ain’t been doin’ your duty. So act right.

1 June 2015, No. 98, Taana Gardner, ‘Heartbeat (Club Version)’

"Heartbeat / it makes me feel so weak" is somewhat nonsensical in the way the best sugary disco lyrics are. Only somewhat nonsensical, though, since tachycardia will make one feel dizzy and faint. But the bass drum beats here, clearly meant to emulate a heartbeat, run at a pretty healthy 99 beats per minute, nothing to make one swoon.

This was a Larry Levan jammer, and he stretched it out for the club. The lyrics I (and the song) opened with are the catchy ones, but I more often find myself singing the dronier background lyrics, “My heart beats / for the one I love.” No. 98 is “Heartbeat (Club Version)” from Taana Gardner.